The Meditation Of My Heart
Recently, I spoke at a women’s conference and during the breakfast portion, a friend of mine made a comment. We were standing in line, waiting for our omelets when she said, “Get ready to become a celebrity.”
I smiled and then chuckled at the thought. Me? A Celebrity? Certainly, she was joking.
We parted ways to go back to our designated tables and enjoy our breakfast. The morning continued with myself and two other wonderful women sharing on different topics to encourage and inspire the women. After the conference was concluded, I was overwhelmed by how many people went out of their way to talk with me after, share a piece of their heart with me, or ask for a photo. For a minute, I really did feel like a celebrity…and then I realized something.
As nice as it is to feel “important”, it doesn’t (and shouldn’t) change who I am. Often times, we hold people up on a pedestal because of some talent or gift they have. We look at the person as we see them and assume they’re one and the same. While I do my best to be who I portray, there’s a side of me that only a few close people see.
At the conference, women saw the dressed up, put together young woman who was beyond excited to share her heart. But that night, my family saw their “little girl” in her pajama pants and hoodie. I’m the same person, but it’s rare for anyone outside of my family to see that side of me.
When I’m out and about with new people, I’m “on” if you will. The smile is there, the conversationalist in me is constantly thinking of what to say or how to encourage someone. Then there comes a time though, when I can turn that side “off” and just allow the conversation to flow.
A friend of mine has shared in the past that he’s an introvert. He’s great at making people feel valued and at making conversation. In fact, when it comes to networking in business circles, you’d think he was an extrovert. But he admits, there comes a time when he needs to be alone to recharge. I fully understand that sentiment now.
As much as I love people and being able to impact their lives in a positive way, there comes a time when I begin to pull back. There are times I even need to step away from my family, simply because I need to be alone to fully recharge.
I say all of this to say, while I pray I continue to change my part of the world and inspire all of those who I come in contact with, I hope I remain far from any pedestal. I’m a gal with dreams and goals just like all of you. I’m imperfect and I make mistakes.
My hope, is that you will look past me and see the One who lives inside of me. Apart from God, I can do nothing. In Him, I live and move and have my being. He sustains me when I have nothing left to give and He revives me when I fall apart.
And my prayer is that in everything I do, people will continue to see Him through me.