Dear Reader

Screen shot 2015-11-01 at 8.38.25 PMToday, I lost it. A button was pressed and a very ugly person appeared. I lost my temper and said hurtful things to people I love, to people who would give their life for me.

Why is that, reader? Why does our family get to see the worst of us?

The people we love, who are there for us through all of the ups and downs of life, who would do whatever they could to see us succeed…why do we show our worst to them?

Today was sobering for me. It’s been a long time since that nasty person has reared her ugly head. And to have it happen over something so incredibly small, a mere misunderstanding that turned into a major offense, made me really take a good look at the person I am.

I never want my future husband or my future children to experience the person I became for a brief period of time today. It was eye-opening to me in a lot of ways.

We tend to show our best selves to the people most temporary in our lives. Think about it: first impressions, first dates, job interviews, and the list goes on. Likewise, we tend to be most comfortable showing our worst self to those whom we know will love us no matter what.

My family loves me for me – good, bad, and ugly. They love my bed head, no makeup, pajama-clothed self. They loved the teenage girl who made mistakes through the years, and they love the young woman I’ve become.

That same love caused today to be a turning point for me.

After apologies were exchanged and hugs were given, I walked away with one resounding hope: May I give my best to those that matter most, instead of just the ones I know can walk away.

Manda

 

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One Comment on “Dear Reader

  1. Lessons in life come in many forms, yes? By d end of this lifetime, perhaps our being would say.. “I don’t regret this incarnation. It’s great to have lived n to have learned.”

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